its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
