i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
