I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
