I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
