This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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