how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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