you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
