im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
