Moan for me like Helen Keller
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
