he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
