is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
