I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
