Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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