Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
