Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
