I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
