He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
