Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
