Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
