he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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