i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
