I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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