I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
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