please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
