We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
