you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
