Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
