i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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