You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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