Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
