my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
