I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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