I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
