I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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