i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
