Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Screwed.edu
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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