woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
