Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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