Heybabeimwearingurpanties
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
