They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize