I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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