it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
