omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
