the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
