After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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