at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
