Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
