You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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