My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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