My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
is wine microwaveable?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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