guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
