you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
